Response to Tea/G-d Party Get out the vote

This will be my last comment on this because my purpose is being misconstrued. I have nothing but goodwill for you, Juliann. I have many fond memories of you from camp and I love reading about your life here on facebook. However, a good reading of your status implies, and I use the word imply very purposefully, that our Constitution is somehow being torn apart by current politics. This is the rallying point of the Tea party. All fine and good to believe that, even though it is not based on history. Where I don't agree with you is telling me that I personally need to vote for people that meet your criteria of being G-dly and your version of Constitutionally sound (what you say is getting back to basics). The purpose for me referencing my educational background in political science is to debunk the myth that the Tea party holds some ultimate answer of what the Founders wanted in the country or what direction our country should move to. It’s specious. The conflation and mythmaking of the Constitution with the Tea movement, and that this is somehow holy or divinely inspired, to me borders on blasphemy. It is clear that our conception of G-d is not the same. I have no problem with any differences that may exist between us. Are you ok with that? If you are not, how can you claim righteousness about such a topic? Choosing verses from the Bible is not authoritative. It only wraps/hides beliefs around Our story that does not have a singular narrative. If I may address Heather’s pointed words at me: faith is nothing without reason and knowledge. To have faith that the Earth is flat does not make it so. Faith is important. My faith in Christ sustains me, as it does you if I may guess. But faith is super-rational, not irrational. So please do not use faith as a shield against backing such flimsy dialogue. Additionally, being snide by repeating my usage of the word “trouble” is no way to make a point. And to inform you of why I do not write G-d’s name: I follow in the footsteps of my religious heritage in not naming G-d. To name something is to have power over it. G-d made me, not the other way around. To show respect to G-d, I treat the name as holy and do not name Him. In the future, you may want to ask people why they do things a certain way instead of making assumptions. One last thing: The Declaration of Independence refers to a Creator, but the Constitution does not use the word G-d in it. Not that it matters too much. What defines a people’s character is not a piece of paper, but how those people interact with the world around them. Shalom.

Brooding at the Salty Dog

Surrounded by elated, no, bloviated faces, the sky darkens and so does my mood. I begin to brood, wondering why I cannot be happy like these people are, why I cannot communicate like these people do, why I cannot just be in the moment....but see. That is half of the problem. I am always in the moment. Always worrying about how I am being thought of, perceived, stereotyped, pidgeon-holed. It's always about me. I am in the moment, but I am never out of me. I hate me. That hate simultaneously hides in horror at my reflection, yet cannot help but continue to look. I have to admit it to get better. I hate who I am. I cannot love anybody until I love me. How simple. How trite. How true.

Numb

Read the Wasteland, by TS Eliot.

Submit!

This week has been hell for Steve. The world stays the same for him, but everything else moves forward. In fact, for Steve time may be regressing. His armor shows chinks that had been rewelded. His eyes do not seek truth or sympathy or comraderie. They look down and hope to be passed without much notice. He echoes this thought, it is not what you are to people it is what you do, but no amount of coaxing or cajoling can stop the drumming and beating on the sides of his cranium, from the walls in these rooms where he sits, from the very thin air. It does not matter. There is no flying today or anytime soon. Geometric harmony will elude us yet again. Poor Steve. He doesn't have a fucking clue....

Letting go

Poetry is emotion subtly moving through my psyche.

Day is done. Nox eternum.
It is a constant chill the blows on my wet, naked soul.
No cry, no release,
No cathartic cataract tumbling from on high
to heal and wash away the memories...

...Her sun-blonded hair draping across my chest;
Her body slowly heaving on top of me...

There are things that I can never wash away.

The stain of love and regret. Of wishing
two things at once diametrically opposed.
They say that time heals all things.
That is hard to believe for an obsessive mind in love.
In love, maybe not with a person so much any more,
but an ideal.
A commingling of ought and is. (Am I not good enough?)

There are ways to break this circadian yoke, so I hear.
But they may break me in the process.
There are boundaries I just cannot cross by myself.
Standing up for me...Being me around people I do not know.

Being able to let go.

Fear/Embarrassment

Weeping. I am so deathly afraid of not being good enough: my Achilles' heel. I cannot...cannot what? It leaves me too quickly to say.

No matter what else, Steve, you must
1) Avoid embarrassment
2) Avoid confrontation
3) Avoid incompetence
4) Never show weakness.

Thinking of father...I am overwrought, embarrassed, weak, unable to control. I have no control. I know I never had control. Why does it bother me so?

Just on the other side, I almost imagine
a life, unencumbered
by doubt, regret, fear.
I almost see the face of a young man
enjoying the world unfolding
around in a mysterious symphony.

The truth sears the eyes open...
The truth of the eyes:
the deep chasm of not ever being good enough to be accepted as one.

The Foundations of Social Relations--Part II

Social relations may be categorized through several types of mechanisms, all of them seemingly contingent--based on cultural norms which even extend down to the individual level. However, we are interested in a particular type of social relation and interaction, and that is the social relations that accumulate, disperse, disguise or reveal power. Power has mutliple forms, but all of its forms enable the individual that has power to conduct in relations and interactions, and those that do not have this power are limited in their relations and interactions.

It is difficult to determine exactly how much power an individual may have. This power must be valued relative to other individuals and are informed by cultural norms. The cultural norm of most value to this valuation is the interaction and recognition between the two or more parties involved in the power relation being studied. As we are speaking of this power relation abstractly, our discussion strives to make general observations about power relations.